View into the Prime Hook Wildlife Refuge in Delaware

Perhaps you are like me. I’m a Virgo with a list for almost everything, and my spice drawer is organized alphabetically. I mean, how do you find the cumin if it’s not next to the coriander? I do very poorly in chaos and uncertainty. Clearly, given the state of the world, I’m in for a rough time. You, too, maybe.

There are lots of people far more nimble-minded, educated, energy-filled, and organizationally talented than I am working on boycotts, demonstrations, marches, and ways to pressure government officials and legislators to stop Fascism from taking over the country. I have nothing to add to their efforts except for my admiration and support wherever I can.

But since broad, energetic organization is not my strength, I am left with the question… How do I not fall into an abyss of depression? How do I live, actually live, each miraculous day I have left, however many that may be? How do I become a helper, even in small ways? How do I become brave and resolute? How do I live in accordance with my principles, and what the heck are my principles, anyway?

In the period directly after 9/11, I lived in France and wrote “The Radiant City,” a novel about a war correspondent suffering from PTSD after covering the Rwandan genocide. One of the themes I explored was whether it was possible, after a catastrophic disillusionment, to maintain a compassionate heart. The Rev. Ernest Hunt, a friend who was the Rector at the Episcopalian Cathedral in Paris at the time, once said to me, “Cynicism is the last refuge of the broken-hearted.” That felt true then, and it does again now.

There’s no point in denying it. I’m broken-hearted and looking for a refuge other than cynicism. Also, other than alcohol. With thirty years of sobriety, I’ve learned that for me, there’s nothing booze won’t make worse.

So, I will try and figure it out, one day at a time. And because I’m a writer, and writing is how I make sense of this life… well, here I am. I hope you’ll consider following me. Let’s form a community. I’d love to hear how you’re getting through the days, and more than just getting through. How are you thriving, how are you celebrating, what brings you joy and strength? Where are you finding and how are you making meaning? Books? Forest walks? Animal rescue? Prayer? Photography? Rituals? Painting? Maybe we can inspire each other and step back from the abyss.

In my next post — I will share the healing properties of soup.