When we are here… here…look!
As some of you know, I popped off social media a few days ago. I’m a bit conflicted, I admit, and probably in the thrall of withdrawal, if you will. I miss people — and I hope they will find me and reach out. But I’m also much more at peace. I do not need another meme telling me how awful the world is. I need hope, and connection
Today the weather was about as perfect as one can expect. Warm but not hot, with a lovely, orange-blossom scented breeze.
I was able to come outside and write, working on a book that’s been giving me no end of trouble. AARRRRGGGHHH! It’s about betrayal (of one’s self and others) and infidelity and drinking and car crashes and… with any luck, redemption.
Betrayal of self. Addiction. Themes that seem to refer to social media, if you think about it. At least for me. But I digress.
Infidelity, car crashes… You remember how I love the messy people of the world, don’t you?
Miracle & magic in the garden
So, here I am, just finishing up my words for the day and I begin noticing all the creatures who’ve come to visit me as I write. Bailey, the rescuepoo, of course, was noodling around out here in the garden, but he’s gone in now to have a nap. And so, in the silence that comes when the terrier’s napping, others came. First a catbird, then two, finding delicious insects to eat. A chickadee hopped onto the table near me, and looked at me with her bright black eye. A brown and orange moth landed on my wrist. The garter snake, who I call Sydney, came out to sit on the rock near the pond, and the fish nuzzled the blossoming lilies, nibbling away. The wren, who is so busy feeding her babies, sings like Maria Callas, and a pair of cardinals meander through the grass. And then, the rabbit came to visit. She had babies again this year in the flower pot near the back door, and I admit to picking one of them up one time and it nestled inside my shirt, all warm and tiny. She hoppity hops closeby, but not too close. Wise lady. I’d like to cuddle her as well, and I’m not sure she’d like that. Snort.
The foxes didn’t come, because I fear some ill-educated children who live beyond the fields at the back of the garden chased them away and they may have died. Sigh. This, too, is life, and messy. A little groundhog appeared, sweet, waddling and grumpy wee thing. He wouldn’t be here if the foxes were. A strange, heart-breaking balance.
And so there are many thoughts to think, and prayers to be said in gratitude and wonder, at all the life happening just here, in my tiny patch of earth… two acres, and a multitude. It makes me think (which I have more time for, being off social media), of one of my favorite poets… and one of my favorite poems. I hope you enjoy it.
WHO MADE THE WORLD, BY MARY OLIVER
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean –
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down –
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
– Mary Oliver
Dear Lauren, What a wonderful blog post. Your authenticity shines through and we’re all better for it. However I have to say I don’t share your affection for “Sydney”. Through you, I’ve grown to adore Mary Oliver’s poetry … you’re complementary to each other. love, Ron
But, My Best Beloved, Sydney only wants to cuddle you! Hahahaha! Love you, Ron.
Yes, Mary Oliver is the patron saint of the present moment. I am probably addicted to social media, more so since rotator cuff surgery a month ago has me wearing a sling and limits my activity. Still can write, though, and type. It was indeed a lovely day, and more to come tomorrow.
Oh, Linda, I’m so sorry to hear about your surgery! Ron had the same time a while back, and although the recovery was as annoying as hell, it’s made all the difference to his comfort.Thank heavens you can write. Let me know what’s happening with you, ok? We’re due for a visit.
Yes! I can drive after June 21. What works for you?
Lauren,
I was thinking of you this morning, wondering if you had kept your author page, and then there you were, first post on the page.
I applaud you for taking a (big!) step back from this all-consuming thing called social media. I think anyone who strives to live a creative life would probably agree that its presence in our lives hasn’t done us much good. I have become increasingly disenchanted with it all, and wonder how much I could accomplish if it all just went away. More importantly, maybe I could find a bit of peace, quiet my mind like I was once able to.
But we know it isn’t going away, so now…courage! I am certain that, even in a few days, you have gained far more than you’ve lost being online. Enjoy that two acres; sounds like you’ve got wonderful company.
xo
Liisa
Hi Liisa — how’s the Estonian adventure going? Lovely to hear from you. You know, it’s only been a few days but I feel grand, and yes, so much quieter of mind and more focused. I’ve also been writing up a storm, which hasn’t happened in a while. Take the plunge!
*Offline, that is!
P.S. Thank you for sharing this poem. When something takes your breath away, well…
It was wonderful to share a while in your garden. I could imagine myself there with you enjoying the sunshine, nature and animals.
Not so sure about Sydney as not too keen on snakes, but if he’s just enjoying the sun and not exploring the garden, there is indeed a place for him too.
Good to know you are working on another book and I hope it starts to go more smoothly.
Wish you were here in person, Joan! I think you’d even start to have affection for Sssssydney. He’s just a garter snake and wants nothing more than to sit on a nice warm rock and eat mosquitos. xo