Age – What a Strange Journey
Age. What a strange and profound journey, for those of us lucky to live so long. I’ve 65. I’m been post-menopause for a decade.
Things change. A hip replacement (ballet dancer as a girl — not good for the hips, especially without a natural turnout). Probably another one in the near future. I actually hobble, which I sometimes find hilarious and at other times fairly depressing. I have grey hair, which I stopped dying. I get heartburn. What the heck has happened to my neck? Where did my 23 inch waist go? I have floaters in my eyes. Pain makes surprise appearances.
In short, my body begins sending me hints that at some point, we will part ways, and perhaps that’s not going to be such a terrible thing. Wear that body out, I say, and lay it down, paper-thin, light as a feather, dry as an autumn leaf… with gratitude and anticipation.
I am slower, which means I notice more. I am tired of endless chatter, which means I listen more. I am no longer ambitious in my vocation as writer, which means I enjoy the process and release the outcome of my work. Expect nothing, be grateful for everything.
I go to no parties, but I love a small dinner with friends, and afternoon tea with biscuits and meaningful conversations, mostly about spirit and how to heal the world and support the young.
I look for faces I aspire to grow into, and this is one…
what about you?
I turned 60 this year, and indeed my body is saying, “You, flower, are wilting and will soon blow away in the breeze.” I miss the endlessness of time in childhood, my teens, even earlier adulthood; now I’m always asking, “Is this activity, hobby, or club, worth the time?” Because there seems so little time left. Of course, the antidote to such thinking is take a walk, preferably in a wood or by a lake; take a deep breath; and think about nothing. And there’s comfort in reminiscing and valuing that I got to live as a human being at all.
Bob, you’ve got the perfect antidote! I love that last line. Yes. We got to live as humans! So blessed.
At 65 I consider all the must-do projects that I once thought I had plenty of time to complete — legacy things that might put a flag on my life for it to be considered after I’m gone. It’s hard to convince myself that they will be done unless I pull the trigger now.
With professional work less pressing now, I find it there’s none the last a lot of work to be done. 😐
EDIT: “… I find that that there’s nonetheless a lot of work to be done.”
I hear you, Steve. I’m challenged by the concept of leaving no legacy at all, and being fine with that.
I’m glad you’re on the mend from your hip replacement: hobbling is better than not-even hobbling. Although even while stationary, there’s much to notice, of course. If you haven’t read Daniel Levitin’s Successful Aging, I think you might enjoy the science behind the importance of noticing, of inhabiting wild spaces as often and thoroughly as possible. it has a very self-help-y title but, if you’ve read his stuff before, you’ll know that’s not how he slants. You can find ideas for changing habits based on his research, but it’s about the science, not about text-boxes and bolded checklists and homework assignments.
Hey there! Oh, the right hip was done in Dec. 2016. Now the left one’s going!
I haven’t read that book, Marcie. I’ll look it up. Thanks very much.
Beautifully written. I’m happy to be on the life path with you, noticing more things together, with an increasing level of gratitude. with love, Ron
Thank you, Ron! Wouldn’t be here without you my Best Beloved.
Lovely. And as you may have noticed, I grabbed a quote from this and made a little meme for Instagram. I love the idea of letting go of your body – my body! – gently and lovingly.
I actually very recently did a search for a beautiful aged face to help shift my inheritance of the fear and despair that is so attached to ageing in our culture. Jane Brideson does wonderful images of ancient women, and I got a print of one of them. The one with the ghostly hare sprinting over her in the blue night sky. Still looking for a frame. But I am very happy to have her in my house.
Thanks for your comment, Mael, and for that gorgeous meme!
I have Jane’s Cailleach Oracle cards and like them very much indeed. Love her work. You made a great choice!