Age. What a strange and profound journey, for those of us lucky to live so long. I’ve 65. I’m been post-menopause for a decade.

Things change. A hip replacement (ballet dancer as a girl — not good for the hips, especially without a natural turnout). Probably another one in the near future. I actually hobble, which I sometimes find hilarious and at other times fairly depressing. I have grey hair, which I stopped dying. I get heartburn. What the heck has happened to my neck? Where did my 23 inch waist go? I have floaters in my eyes. Pain makes surprise appearances.

In short, my body begins sending me hints that at some point, we will part ways, and perhaps that’s not going to be such a terrible thing. Wear that body out, I say, and lay it down, paper-thin, light as a feather, dry as an autumn leaf… with gratitude and anticipation.

I am slower, which means I notice more. I am tired of endless chatter, which means I listen more. I am no longer ambitious in my vocation as writer, which means I enjoy the process and release the outcome of my work. Expect nothing, be grateful for everything.

I go to no parties, but I love a small dinner with friends, and afternoon tea with biscuits and meaningful conversations, mostly about spirit and how to heal the world and support the young.

I look for faces I aspire to grow into, and this is one…

what about you?

6 Comments

  1. R.B. (Bob) Young on March 17, 2021 at 11:50 am

    I turned 60 this year, and indeed my body is saying, “You, flower, are wilting and will soon blow away in the breeze.” I miss the endlessness of time in childhood, my teens, even earlier adulthood; now I’m always asking, “Is this activity, hobby, or club, worth the time?” Because there seems so little time left. Of course, the antidote to such thinking is take a walk, preferably in a wood or by a lake; take a deep breath; and think about nothing. And there’s comfort in reminiscing and valuing that I got to live as a human being at all.

    • Lauren B. Davis on March 17, 2021 at 12:06 pm

      Bob, you’ve got the perfect antidote! I love that last line. Yes. We got to live as humans! So blessed.

  2. BuriedInPrint on March 18, 2021 at 4:07 pm

    I’m glad you’re on the mend from your hip replacement: hobbling is better than not-even hobbling. Although even while stationary, there’s much to notice, of course. If you haven’t read Daniel Levitin’s Successful Aging, I think you might enjoy the science behind the importance of noticing, of inhabiting wild spaces as often and thoroughly as possible. it has a very self-help-y title but, if you’ve read his stuff before, you’ll know that’s not how he slants. You can find ideas for changing habits based on his research, but it’s about the science, not about text-boxes and bolded checklists and homework assignments.

    • Lauren on March 19, 2021 at 3:39 pm

      Hey there! Oh, the right hip was done in Dec. 2016. Now the left one’s going!

      I haven’t read that book, Marcie. I’ll look it up. Thanks very much.

  3. Ron Davis on March 23, 2021 at 5:03 pm

    Beautifully written. I’m happy to be on the life path with you, noticing more things together, with an increasing level of gratitude. with love, Ron

    • Lauren on March 23, 2021 at 5:18 pm

      Thank you, Ron! Wouldn’t be here without you my Best Beloved.

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